One Hot Mama by Erin Cox

Author:Erin Cox
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2012-09-09T16:00:00+00:00

Your Relationships with Your Girlfriends

Study after study shows that the happiest people have trustworthy and supportive friends. Mothers, in particular, thrive with a network of healthy, compassionate, and encouraging friendships. Women need to learn how to attract the right people into their lives and spend time with those who bring them joy. Cultivating friendships can be learned, and women who take the time to nourish their relationships will be much more fulfilled in other areas of life.

Many new mothers have amazing girlfriends but don’t feel that they have enough time or energy to nurture these relationships. As a mom, I have met some special new friends but didn’t make a lot of effort to connect because I just didn’t feel that I had the extra time.

Women who work outside the home in addition to having babies feel this even more acutely. One of my dear friends, Christine, works full-time as an executive. At the end of the day, she thinks of nothing other than getting home with her children to spend some time with them. She works out during her lunch hour, so she really has very little extra time to cultivate her relationships. What she has going for her is an extensive network of old friends whom she calls on her long drives to and from work and on weekends. She can let her guard down with these long-time confidantes. So while she isn’t necessarily making new friends, she is doing what she must to keep her system of well-established relationships healthy and intact.

How can you sustain your friendships when you feel so busy?

— Keep a calendar marked with your friends’ birthdays and special events. Maintain a drawer with numerous beautiful birthday cards so it’s easy to get cards off in time to make your special women feel loved.

— Call your best friends when you have a long drive ahead of you, using a hands-free device, of course! Use one naptime per week to call or e-mail those friends who have been on your mind.

— E-mail photos of your baby for your friends to enjoy—not too many, but enough that they can feel part of your life and connected to your family’s new addition.

— Send quick notes and e-mails to your closest friends regularly. This doesn’t have to take long. Just let them know you are thinking about them and share what’s going on in your life.

— I have mentioned this already, but get a babysitter or have your husband watch the kid(s) so you can enjoy a girls’ night or afternoon out. You will actually be able to complete full conversations without interruption when the kids are elsewhere. You truly need these kid-free times to connect with your friends on a deeper level.

— That said, get together for coffee with your friends and bring the babies. If you wait until you are baby-free, you might not get to see each other very often. It’s also great to have a reason to get up and dressed, go out, and have conversations that you just can’t always have with your husband.

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